ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
third nipple confirmed
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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