im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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