i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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