3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
