Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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