Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
