erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
