how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
40s are totally the cure
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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