We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Send help, water and tortillas.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize
