i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
