She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
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