it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
