My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
