im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
