Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Where is the hickey?
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
