I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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