I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
