my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
