i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
