But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Randomize
