i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
