I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
