3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
foreskin is a definite game changer
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Randomize
