my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
