I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Randomize
