Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
