Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
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