I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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