New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Randomize
