Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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