The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
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