WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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