I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
