She is in my trunk
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
