Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
smell my finger.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
