"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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