please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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