Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
