Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
