If i could tip my vagina, i would.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
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