Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
it hurts more in the daytime
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
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