john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
did i just pee glitter
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
