I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
True strength comes from lack of pants
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
