I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
