Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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