i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
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