I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize