Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
not ubering you a puppy
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Randomize
