Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I cut my penus on the lid.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
