ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
