I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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