i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
