i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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