U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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