I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
