the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
