sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
