i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
It's just like the Real World with babies
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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