I hate all girls vehemently.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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