Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I think I won the penis lottery.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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