3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
