why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
